How I Failed NaNoWriMo
I have failed you, Literary Gods, failed you so hard.
National Novel Writing Month.
The month of November came and went and so did NaNo. I was so amped to participate this year. I made charts, I had all my goals in line, outlines --which I never do--, and I had rewards, 'cause who doesn't a love a reward. I had everything you could think of planned out and ready to go.
But I forgot one key element. I forgot to NaNo.
The first two weeks were solid. I wrote every day. Exceeded my goals and was rather impressed with myself. Then I slipped. I forgot to write one day. That one day turned into another, and then another.
I'm sure you are wondering how the heck I forgot to write. I'm a writer for crying out loud.
Beats me, to be honest.
Although deep down I know it's the pressure that got to me. But just because I didn't achieve 50,000 words by the end of November doesn't mean I suck as a writer.
No. It just means I have to realize my boundaries when it comes to my writing. I can't feel forced, yes, sometimes the force to proceed is needed. What I mean is that with everyone doing NaNo I felt like I had to exceed. I had to do good... because everyone else was. It started to weigh me down. I got so far inside my head that it prevented me from actually writing.
I've done NaNo for the past three years. Each year I've failed, I'll add. The first two years I just didn't try. I was still learning as a writer --still am, really-- and just didn't want to put the time in. Blah! I'm a butthead sometimes.
But this year was different. Half way through I came to the realization that NaNo just isn't the fit for me. That doesn't mean I will stop trying every November.
It just means I am going to do it my way. Modifying it to my writing style. Suppose this wouldn't really be NaNoWriMo then, eh? And I'm also going to redo NaNo in December.
I mean, obviously it won't be the traditional NaNo. But I plan to set my own goals I know I'll be able to obtain. I encourage y'all to join me on this.
Well, that's it for this blog post! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
I feel the rope tightening around my neck. My nails digging into my skin trying to loosen it. You pull tighter. My breath becoming shallower and shallower. You don't care.
You did this.
You took me.
You tied me up.
Put me on display. Humiliated me. You whisper, "I'm sorry. This is the way it has to be." I shake my head.
Desperate for peace, relief.
Desperate for you to let me go.
I'm just a number. A figure in your well placed hidden plan. You move about the world with practiced ease. People kneel to you, people respect you. I respected you. You lead a life that most would love to have until they find out who you really are.
You're a monster. A monster that you keep concealed so well.
I trusted you. Trusted you to not hurt me.
You hurt me.
I believed you.
I believed that someone like you could never hurt someone like me. I guess you never truly know someone.
I can feel my body growing numb now. My will to fight is gone now.
You won now.
You always win.
My body slackens, my eyes closing. Before I drift to my peace, I feel the blade against my skin. A blade I know will be the last thing I feel. This I know for sure for you told me. Telling me you would watch my limp body almost to the peak of demise. Only then you would sliver your hate through my body, watching the crimson wetness stain the floor.
So delicate, like a flower, you wrap me in your arms and let the rope fall from around my neck.
I sigh in defeat. The closeness of my death so near I could taste it. A welcoming feeling.
Take me away from a man I loved and trusted.
Never to be reached again.
Never to feel again.
Copyright © by JL Long 2016
Lover At Last is on sale for $1.99!! Usually $7.99! Get it while you can! I absolutely loved this series.
“The hottest collection of studs in romance” (New York Times Bestselling Author Angela Knight) returns as J. R. Ward brings together two of the most beloved people in the Black Dagger Brotherhood world—at last....
Qhuinn, son of no one, is used to being on his own. Disavowed from his bloodline, shunned by the aristocracy, he has found an identity as a brutal fighter in the war against the Lessening Society. But his life is not complete. Even as the prospect of having a family of his own seems within reach, he is empty on the inside, his heart given to another....
Blay, after years of unrequited love, has moved on from his feelings for Qhuinn. And it’s about time: it seems Qhuinn has found his perfect match in a Chosen female, and they are going to have a young. It’s hard for Blay to see the new couple together, but building your life around a pipe dream is just a heartbreak waiting to happen. And Qhuinn needs to come to terms with some dark things before he can move forward…
Fate seems to have taken these vampire soldiers in different directions, but as the battle over the race’s throne intensifies, and new players on the scene in Caldwell create mortal danger for the Brotherhood, Qhuinn learns the true meaning of courage, and two hearts meant to be together finally become one.
This is my list of favorite books of all time. Some of them go back to my childhood. Some way or another these books have touched my soul and stuck. I hope you check them out and get lost in these worlds just as I did.
Here's my list...
1. Night by Elie Wiesel
2. The Giver by Lois Lowry
3. How To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
5. How To Kill A Rockstar by Tiffanie DeBartolo
6. Undeniable by Madeline Sheehan
7. Nine Minutes by Beth Flynn
8. Corrupt by Penelope Douglas
9. Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward
10. Tarryn Fisher books
11. Kristen Ashley books
There you have it, my list of favorite books.
Looking back on the day I decided to self-publish.
It was scary. It still is. I've been a writer of words for a very long time. That doesn't mean I know all the rules.
Not even close. What I do know is, I love writing. I remember writing stories when I was a little girl, they were unique --different-- but mine. I think sometimes we get lost. We stop writing for us and write for our readers. There's nothing wrong with that, but if the story is what everyone else wants, are you going to be able to write it to the best of your abilities?
With that being said, I have some tips. Not your everyday tips. Tips that I wish I would have listened to from day one of publishing.
My tips to myself now...
1. Do it.
-Just do it. Don't ask why. Grab your pen --or your laptop-- and just write.
2. Don't doubt yourself.
-You will doubt yourself. I think all success comes from a bit of doubt. What I mean is, don't doubt yourself to where you no longer have a desire to write. You have to be the controller of your doubt when it creeps in. Control it and move on.
3. Write what you feel.
-This is a big one. Don't write what people think might happen. Write what you feel needs to happen. It's your story, you write it.
4. Don't quit because of what others say.
-Not everyone will like your story. People will be mean, cruel, and ruthless. Take it for what it is. Don't let that taint your dream. After all, you are writing for yourself, not them.
5. Know when to listen.
-Everyone has their 'how to'. Everyone will try to influence you. You have to be the one to decide what fits you. It's like a pair of jeans. Slip it on, if it doesn't work, chuck it. You will know when it fits.
6. Rules are rules, but...
-They can be broken...sometimes. Don't be afraid to walk that line.
7. Don't lose yourself trying to find yourself.
-This is a huge one. People change in this industry. Sometimes you can't do the things other authors do, don't force it.
8. Success doesn't happen overnight.
-"If you build it, they will come." --remember that handy-dandy quote from Field of Dreams? It's true. Who knows when that will be. Just work hard and trust that you are doing the best that you can. Don't break your back or your bank account trying to achieve something that just isn't reachable at this time. You can't do everything. There will come a point where those things will be more available to you. Do what you can when you can.
9. You will feel alone.
-This comes with the territory. We have things running through our brains that others don't. People don't understand. It's okay to feel this way.
10. You will feel like you're making the biggest mistake of your life.
-This is normal. It'll keep happening. Again, trust yourself.
Struggle you will, but don't you ever give up. No one likes a quitter.
There will come a point where acceptance doesn't matter. Take that moment in. Bet you'll feel a calm come over you like none other. This isn't about everyone else, it's about you, sugar plum. How you want it, where you want it, when you want it. Work for it. The only person that needs to love your story is you.
Lift that chin up, baby. Stand ten foot tall and bullet proof.
You got this.
Because I believe in you.